October 16th, 2015

Another small step

I have another mini success story for you this week. I’ve been talking at length to one of our girls over the last couple of weeks who has faced some situations that have really upset and worried her. We discussed the situations from every possible angle, exploring her perception of how she and others had contributed to them, and eventually, the possible ways that resolution could be found. She was adamant that there were certain routes were just not possible for her, because of embarrassment, fear or stubbornness (all self-confessed)! But as we parted I encouraged her to not write them off and be brave. If I’m honest I thought it was unlikely that she was going to change her mind and expected her to bring the same situations back to me the following session. But on each occasion, the following time I saw her, she approached me wide eyed and with a grin, told me that she’d not only taken the plunge but had seen a really positive outcome. I don’t know whether she was more surprised by what she’d done or that it had worked!

These were big milestones for this young woman. In each scenario she stepped outside of the safety of the long held values and assumptions that she held about herself, how she should conduct herself and how relationships work. I’m so glad that I took the time to properly listen to her, to process with her, and to continue to encourage her as she fiercely rejected my suggestions! I’m reminded of how important it is for the girls to feel understood in their relationships with us, in order to trust and act on our advice.¬†And I have real hope that these experiences¬†will start to change this young women’s view of herself, what she’s capable of and how she can impact the response that she gets from others.